We'd Like You To Join This Insanity
by Michelle H. C. Zhu
Summary: [Fifty 1sentence challenge] Giriko, Justin, and Gopher interactions. Insane, delusional souls whose daily lives teeter on the line between comical sitcoms and mental breakdowns.


**#01 - Walking  
**

He walks around with a big, stinking hole in his heart that she dug those 800 years ago, Arachne-deep and Arachne-wide, reinforced with wooden beams and promises of safe comfort and return; now the owner of the shovel is dead, and Noah doesn't give enough shit to scoop even one ounce of dirt back in.**  
**  
**#02 - Waltz**

Because he's ordered to, Gopher actually puts in the effort to navigate through Giriko's emotional minefield without triggering any explosives when interacting with the chainsaw; Justin, on the other hand, just waltzes through without a care of where or what he steps on.

**#03 - Wishes**

Giriko thinks magic and fairy dust are for _fags_, but he finds himself unconsciously making a wish when a meteor shower rains over the church one night.

**#04 - Wonder**

During periods where the Clown lies dormant in his mind and Justin is cognizant enough to form coherent thoughts, one thing always comes to haunt him: _Will Shibusen ever take me back? _

******#05 - Worry**  
**  
**Justin is in the midst of a terrible fit of coughs and suffering from a 103 fever when Gopher barges into his room, slams down a tray next to his bed, and tells him in an irate tone to eat his damn chicken soup because Noah-sama wants him better very, very soon for another mission.**  
**

**#06 - Whimsy  
**

Giriko suffers from what Justin calls, "situational homosexuality." **  
**

**#07 - Waste/Wasteland**

Every day he goes through at least half a dozen bottles before he can say _yeah this is where I was last time when it stopped hurtin' - _it's to drown out the pain and depression and the stink of failure and just this overall _hollowness_ inside, the day-to-day emptiness of living without meaning or reason or cause; the only reason why he continues trudging on, why he doesn't just lay down and die is because hell doesn't have _a lick of alcohol _in its fiery shithole and he ain't kicking the bucket before he's squeezed out every last drop of whiskey life has to offer him… so he'll continue to lead on a hollow, empty life and drink himself into a coma - until one day he hopes he'll finally waste away into nothingness just like his heart did several centuries ago.

******#08 - Whiskey and rum**

Giriko's out of alcohol (again), and the chainsaw is physically intimidating enough to make Gopher fly into a town and get some more; he returns with _not_ whiskey, but a cheap bottle of Captain Morgan - nobody sleeps that night.

**#09 - War**

The thing he does on a daily basis _other_ than get shitfaced is try to kill Gopher under the guise of "training". **  
**

******#10 - Weddings**

"I'm not _that_ kind of priest, Giriko."**  
**

**#11 - Birthday  
**

Gopher doesn't remember where or when or how he was born; he just remembers the moment when strong, bronze hands reached into his world to sculpt a body for him and a deep voice uttered, "From this day forward, you are to serve me".

**#12 - Blessing**

His wavelength ripples at the prayer, naturally escalating as an extension of his faith - but this is no battlefield and there is no target, and so the elongation comes and goes without the spilling of blood.

**#13 - Bias**

Giriko sees women as nothing more than walking tits and asses and a nice warm place to put his dong (Arachne exempt) and Gopher views them as potential rivals for Noah-sama's affection (like everyone else on the planet) - but Justin is the only one in the group who harbors a genuine misogyny with no strings attached.

******#14 - Burning**  


As he nears the final climax of execution, he's overcome with the strangest sensation of prickling heat and dull throbbing somewhere in his body; his eyes roll to the back of his skull, and his body trembles, shuddering as he pants and screams the name of his god at the grinning moon, and then - it's all over… his victim is bloody shreds on the ground and he feels intensely satisfied as pleasure courses through the tendrils of his being.

**#15 - Breathing**

He's walking to bed when he suddenly feels hot, whiskey-laced breathing down his neck followed by a low, husky chuckle in his ear - and that's enough for Justin to realize that Giriko was drunk enough to mistaken him for a girl… _again_;

(he bats off Giriko's groping hands from his waist and threatens to slit his throat when the chainsaw doesn't let up;)

(except Giriko takes it the wrong way and Justin is forced to flee to his room, entirely _too creeped out_ for words). **  
**

**#16 - Breaking**

The palm of his hand slams over the priest's mouth and he shoves the lithe body against the wall (he's stronger, he's so much stronger than this shitty altar boy will _ever_ be even with his pet clown upgrade), hissing, "You make another sarcastic remark 'bout not being able to hear me talk _and I will fuckin' rip your ears off your head_, _do you understand me_."

**#17 - Belief**

Justin is jealous of his teammates' strong, adamant beliefs in "_Noah-sama~_" and "_Arachne-'niisan_" when all he has is a coerced allegiance to this bandaged psycho he's never met before and some few broken fragments of faith in a mask-wearing god whose words he can't even hear.

**#18 - Balloon**

If one were to let out all the air in a set of balloons they would be the size of Maka Albarn's chest, Gopher argues.

**#19 - Balcony**

Taking a sip of his soft drink, he peers over the balcony at the people on the street and is overcome with the need to protect them - they were_ his_ duty after all; Tezca asks him what he's looking at, but Justin's earphones drown out the bear's voice and he doesn't respond.

**#20 - Bane**

Neither Justin nor Gopher had said goodbye to the chainsaw before his final battle; for one, they just didn't care - but they also never thought that Giriko would actually _lose_ to the Albarn girl.**  
**

**#21 - Quiet**

"_Oi_, listen you little faggot - the bossman is making me take my goddamn time to show you this shit so the least you can do is _shut your stinkin' trap_!" he snarls as a mound of dirt starts to take shape under his skillful hands and the face Gopher makes is just _horrible,_ but he shuts up and edges closer to watch the golem enchanter in action.**  
**

**#22 - Quirks**

Rumor was that Giriko purred like a chainsaw whenever he was happy; nobody could ever prove this because Giriko was never_ actually_ _happy_.

**#23 - Question**

Justin is wallowing in the Clown's madness when Gopher comes in with a wicked grin on his face and asks if there are any markers in colors other than black.**  
**

******#24 - Quarrel**

Quarreling for Gopher and Justin consists of Gopher screaming his own unique brand of insults at the top of his lungs and Justin smirking and ignoring it; quarreling for Giriko and Justin consists of the same thing, except with more physical violence; quarreling for Gopher and Giriko consists of both of them screaming _their _own unique brands of insults at each other while participating in enough physical violence to tear a wall clean off the church.

******#25 - Quitting**

The triangle-shaped expression his lips form when he's angry is like an uncontrollable addiction. ******  
**

******#26 - Jump**  
  
When Noah says 'jump', Gopher doesn't ask 'how high?'; he just tries to surpass all his master's expectations and _flies_ into the air.**  
**

**#27 - Jester  
**

The Clown, Noah wryly thinks, is like their mascot.

**#28 - Jousting**

Justin is bored enough to entertain Gopher's heated challenge of racing his dune buggy against his wings; Gopher's faster, of course - but Justin silver guns him out of the sky and crosses the finish line with his coffin speakers cranking out techno beat victory music.

**#29 - Jewel**

"**d̓ͨͦ̾̎̋ͨ͏.๏ **y̷̶̛̱̲̖̹̦͔̦̬̠̟͕̪͖͈͂̌̃̅̓͗̿̇ͪͫͬ̽ͨͣ͌̎ͨ̚͠͠ͅ**๏ש fєє**l͠ ̢ͮ** ţ̛̗͉̠͇̣̲̼̀̐̿́̎̔**ђ**є เภsคภเ_ţ̛̗͉̠͇̣̲̼̀̐̿́̎̔_y ภ๏**W̑̅͝?" a voice whispers into his ear - and out of the corner of his eye, above the ear-to-ear grin that stretches across the madman's face, Gopher spots a tiny guillotine dangling from the corner of a helmet with its razor-sharp blade glimmering like a diamond.

******#30 - Just**

"You're an insult to everything your name stands for, priest," and the look Justin gives him is enough to convey his message: _And **yo**__**ur** name, Gopher_…**  
**

**#31 - Smirk**

"_Dammit - you - shinigami _- why don't you beg for mercy?" he screams and draws back his arm to punch the god child in the face, in the chest, in the stomach, and pummels him into the stone wall - but through all the bruises and blood dripping down his chin, his victim's mouth still curves into a mocking smirk that resonates to the core of Gopher's very soul.

**#32 - Sorrow  
**

Standing over the… _thing_ - it didn't even look_ human_ yet, he mutters, "Sorry, but daddy's got an appointment to decapitate this bitch's head…" and leans down to place the cube on the golem's (his daughter's) barely developed body.

******#33 - Stupidity**

"_Shit, _boy, even_ I_ know you can only have up to seven letters at a time!" and that's enough to send Gopher off bawling; an amused Justin explains that he had spent several turns amassing enough letters to spell 'N-O-A-S-A-M-A' before Giriko came in and shattered his hopes. **  
****  
#34 - Serenade**

"The band," he says, as his earphone pumps out beats (_calm fitter, healthier and more productive, a pig in a cage on antibiotics__), _"…is called Radiohead."

**#35 - Sarcasm**

"Yes, and what an _invaluable_ servant you were - _not even conscious when the witch died_."

**#36 - Sordid  
**

"Look who's talking - you dress up like some holy father and then go and do the most _ungodly_ shit that would make your god want to fuck himself over for choosing such a lying sneak bastard to carry out his duty."

**#37 - Soliloquy**

"_YOU WON'T LAY A FINGER ON HER! SHE'S MINE, YOU HEAR ME?_ That blond bitch killed Arachne. That little bitch killed her—and now I'm going to kill her! And let me tell you how I'm going to do it," he eases into a dark, unbalanced grin as the glint of 800 years of bloodlust shone through, "I'm gonna do it slowly. First, I'm gonna slice off her little boyfriend's eyelids so he'll have no choice but to watch. Then, I'm gonna break every bone in her body so she can't move. Then I'm gonna listen to her screams as I lop off her fingers one by one. FINALLY, I'm going to rip off her head and make partner watch _AS I COME DOWN THE THROAT OF HIS WOMAN. HOW'S THAT FOR VENGEANCE? YOU THINK I CAN'T PROTECT PEOPLE NOW, HM? __TELL ME THAT! I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY IT! TELL ME I CAN'T PROTECT ARACHNE! TELL ME!"_

**#38 - Sojourn**

Giriko and Justin both joined Noah's group fully knowing that it was a temporary stepping stone to achieving their goals of vengeance and nirvana respectively.**  
**

******#39 - Share**

Among the four and a half of them (the Clown and the Shinigami count for a quarter each), Giriko is the only one that holds _any_ resemblance of a sex drive - but he has more than enough to compensate for his apathetic team members.

**#40 - Solitary  
**

It's three o'clock in the afternoon and Giriko is lounging on the couch, bleary-eyed and half-wasted, up to his knees in alcohol-related trash and well on his second bottle of Russian vodka when footsteps invade the sanctity of his hangover, and he musters up just enough care to open one lazy eye and direct it towards the intruder for facial recognition so that he can make his insults personalized when he tells them to fuck off and leave him the hell alone.

**#41 - Nowhere**

"Wipe that smirk off your face," he grumbles, shooting a glare at the decidedly creepy Justin Law, and knows that the only reason he's following the unholy blond bitch (hands shoved in his pockets and just _glaring_ at the oppressive clown) is because he's got nowhere else to go now that _she's_ dead.**  
**

**#42 - Neutral**

Noah wears a disturbingly neutral face when he sees his three underlings piled in a heap on the floor, surrounded by debris from the gigantic hole in the ceiling; a second later, a stuffed training doll falls through the hole and lands on top of Gopher - it looks to have been simultaneously guillotined, chainsawed, and bullet-winged and_ oddly resembles Maka Albarn_ and Noah _doesn't even want to know_. **  
**

**#43 - Nuance**

During the beginning stage of madness, he had been calm and civilized and addressed others in a (mockingly) respectful tone - towards the end, he could barely distinguish his teammates from his enemies, cutting down and bashing dead anyone in the vicinity while babbling about god (just 'god', not Shinigami, not Asura - the insanity had blurred the distinction).

**#44 - Near**

He launches a set of kicks in rapid succession: two, three, four, five – a roundhouse and the last one connects deep with Soul's torso, blood spurting from the pipsqueak's chest as the deranged chainsaw roars, "I told you I'm nothing like Justin - you and him ain't anywhere _near_ my level!"

**#45 - Natural**

Justin was different from the rest of them in that his insanity was_ forced_; he needed an emblem (the clown) to remind him that _yes, he was insane_ and that _no, Shibusen was no longer his home_.

**#46 - Horizon**

It's late afternoon when Gopher is quietly talking with the priest, fully aware that this wasn't so much a conversation as it was a pacified bitchfest (_'Noah-sama expresses his discontent that you were unable to execute the witch_' '_Gopher, are you telling me how to handle my targets?_') but Gopher doesn't care; he needs somebody to interact with and Justin is kind enough to entertain him with sardonic replies and all-knowing smirks until the sun goes down behind the hills and disappears out of sight.

**#47 - Valiant**

Even as he pulls out the page from the Book of Eibon and stares at the elaborate design painted on the piece of paper, Gopher will never admit that he was a coward for escaping battle. **  
**

**#48 - Virtuous**

"He was a nice boy…" she tells the doctor (the patchwork man is awkward dealing with upset women - but he's patient, he tries to be empathetic, and so he listens to Marie like a good companion), "I met him when he just became a Death Scythe at age 13… he always had those earphones on and he was cocky, but he his eyes - his eyes held so much innocence and _purity_… and_ now_…" she breaks off, trembling, calms her nerves with a sip of tea before mumbling something about the sins of a child - and Stein wonders to what extent his partner saw Justin as the son that she never had.

**#49 - Victory**

Because they are villains, such a word doesn't exist in their dictionaries. **  
**

**#50 - Defeat **

Laughing, "I've got a massive saw between my legs that's just _itching_ to slice you up!" and as he begins pawing at the kid's pants and unhooking his half a dozen fancy fastenings the realization suddenly dawns upon him: "… **SHIT**, I'M A _GIRL_ NOW - …aww … fuck man, I don't really know how pussies work…" he trails off, sounding almost _embarrassed_, and Justin (bright red, _scared _and struggling, and trying so hard to remain unflappable) just stares.


End file.
